Pastors Go Postal

For heartsick former supporters of John Edwards, this week offers an edifying tabloid alternative: the civil trial of Victoria Osteen, wife of megachurch minister and televangelist Joel Osteen, for assaulting a flight attendant. The issue was what is sometimes described as a “spill” and sometimes as a “stain” on the armrest of Mrs. Osteen’s first class seat, which the flight attendant refused to clean up with sufficient alacrity because she was busy assisting others board. Although there is no evidence that the spill consisted of tuberculosis-ridden phlegm or avian flu-rich bird poop, Osteen was mightily pissed, allegedly pushing and punching the flight attendant and making such a ruckus that the Osteen family had to be removed from the flight.

I would be more sympathetic to the flight attendant, Sharon Brown, if she weren’t demanding 10 percent of Osteen’s fortune to compensate for injuries including a “loss of faith” and hemorrhoids somehow incurred from a frontal assault. But it isn’t easy being a flight attendant in this era of layoffs, pay cuts and packed planes – certainly not compared to being a millionaire on her way to Vail. Whatever dubious substance Victoria Osteen faced on that first class armrest, she should have been able to derive some serenity from the fact that the church she co-pastors draws 40,000 worshippers a week and that her husband has been dubbed “America’s Most Influential Christian.”

Just another celebrity meltdown set off by insufficiently servile servers? Recall Russell Crowe’s 2005 assault with a telephone on a SoHo hotel clerk, or Naomi Campbell’s attacks with similar weapons –cell phone and Blackberry-- on members of her own staff. But there’s a curious antecedent here that Christians would do well to ponder: In 1997, another megachurch pastor and leading televangelist – Robert Schuller – was prosecuted for an eerily similar first class tantrum.

Schuller, like the Osteens, is a proponent of positive thinking – the doctrine that God intends for you to be rich, healthy and generally “great” right here in this life. While politicos have focused on the Christian Right, there’s been far less attention to the fast growing brand of Christianity Light, also represented by televangelists Joyce Meyer, Benny Hinn and Creflo Dollar. Positive thinking is the theology of the modern megachurch, and it avoids all mention of sin –including the “sins” of abortion and homosexuality – lest such “negative” topics turn off any potential converts or “seekers.” Its promise is that you can have anything you want simply by “visualizing” it or, as Osteen puts it, “believing for it” -- a doctrine derided by some Christian critics as “name it and claim it.”

Schuller faced a different biohazard on his first class flight in ’97 – cheese. When the flight attendant gave him a fruit and cheese plate for dessert, Schuller insisted that the cheese be removed. The flight attendant refused, explaining, reasonably enough, that all the fruit had been plated with cheese and could be contaminated, from a cheese- allergy sufferer’s point of view . But the pastor was simply on a low-fat diet and did not want to see the cheese on his plate, so he got out of his seat and accosted the flight attendant, shaking him violently by the shoulders. Schuller ended up paying an $1100 fine and undergoing six months of police supervision.

In the theology of Christian positive thinking, “everything happens for a reason.” The Osteens may conclude that the divine intention was to prod them into to emulating Joyce Meyers and Creflo Dollar by investing in a private jet. But there’s another possible message from on high: that this brand of Christianity fosters a distinctly un-Christian narcissism.

Consider the ways the Lord works in the life of the Osteens, as recounted in Joel’s book Your Best Life Now, which has sold four million copies and is graced by a back cover photo of the smiling couple. Acting through Victoria, who kept “speaking words of faith and victory” on the subject, Joel was led to build the family “an elegant home.” On other occasions, God intervened to save Joel from a speeding ticket and to get him not only a good parking spot but “the premier spot in that parking lot.” Why God did not swoop down with a sponge and clean up the offending stain on the armrest remains a mystery, because Osteen’s deity is less the Master of the Universe than an obliging factotum.

Plenty of Christians have already made the point that the positive thinking of Christianity Light is demeaning to God, and I leave them to pursue this critique. More importantly, from a secular point of view, it’s dismissive of other humans, and not only flight attendants. If a person is speeding, shouldn’t he get a ticket to deter him from endangering others? And if Osteen gets the premier parking spot, what about all the other people consigned to the remote fringes of the lot? Christianity, at best, is about a sacrificial love for others, not about getting to the head of the line.

If the Osteens’ brand of religion is what flight attendant Sharon Brown lost faith in as a result of being manhandled by on that plane to Vail, then the suit should be dropped, because Victoria Osteen has already done her enough of a favor.

Comments

[Chickensh*tEagle]

McCain's staff probably gets back to him about which home he's going to next. ;-)

[Daniel]

Good post! I wonder if we'll be allowed to go back to ancient punishments used against people like the Osteens-such as stoning to death? Ha, seriously though, there is a lesson to be learned here: True evil of the worst kind can lurk anywhere, even under the "Christian" label.

[John K. Fitzpatrick]

The premise of Xtianity Lite reminds me of a tag line in the movie Chronicles Of Riddick: "You keep what you kill."

Also perfectly attuned to the self-concern demanded by capitalism.

- John

[Brian]

I thought I was bad but in the table next to me 3 350 pounders ordered both a main plate and fajitas, extra chips, extra sodas, including extra ones to go after a hearty desert. What struck me was the patriarch was hobbling around on crutches yet walking and the mother was on her cell phone with earth weary eyes and her ample daughter was staring at me with all the hostility of the streets, cept this was the suburbs and they were suburban. Maybe formerly of some city and before that some farm, but now they exacted a mass exceeding 1000 lbs amongst a three mere people. For myself, I stuck with the fiesta platta, and got some extra salsa. I ate as much as I reasonably could, then stuffed to the hilt stood up creeking the floor boards again as I raised myself above the booth with both arms. As I walked out the restaurant I felt about 15 lbs heavier and my knees creeked and I could feel it in my ankles. Maybe it was the extra ice tea. How many pounds does a big glass of that weigh? Or was it the sour cream, guacchymole, the orange dipping sauce, the creamy white dipping sauce, or the salsas? The tortilla cheese complex I downed filled me to the gills. But the misplaced family eating next to me never smiled or laughed once. They seemed angry, down, grumpy, walk on eggshells around them. Maybe they thought I was an insurance investigator as they made some comment and got even grumpier. But the food was good, and I think salsa and guacchymole is very good for you as are the cabbage filliings.

[Ingimar Gandionco]

Its so sad to hear that considering that people are looking up to them us role Models as Pastors (Leading the sheep). Maturity is not measured by gifts but by our character (Fruit of the Spirit) We should cultivate.

After everything was said and Done Let them be responsible to God

[Brian]

well tonight i went out for a hof's hut popular local diner/restaurant for a turkey dinner with some boiled soft vegtable soup and ice teas. it comes with real creamed corn which is pretty amazing to taste compared to lighter canned cream corn fair. It The supposed rotissere cooked turkey seemed kind of salty and processed to me compared to regular roasted turkey bird meat, and the hot gravey tastee indeed but prolly heavy in fats with a distinct buttery taste, and the gooey well saturated in something stuffing was salty and tasty too. They gave me a doulbe load of smooth cranburry jello and some boiled, buttered, creamed mashed with a little potatoe skins it, shich are good for you and a hot soft one sided buttered garlic toast that was delightful. The plate probably did weigh 7-8 lbs and after the food was gone maybe 3-4 lbs. This time I was able to slide myself across to the end of the booth's cushion by grasping onto the end of the table and giving it a hearty pull. It worked, and I pulled fast enough to jump start my feet onto the floor raising my upper body by planting my feet and lifting up on my knees with my thighs till I found my center of gravity and I was standing. I took two steps and was clear of the table and felt the floor groan a little under me, but not so bad, probably 3X6 floorboards. As I towered above the mostly older people eating in their booths I got a birds eye view of their various choices and boy what a sight I saw people eating. If I were a bird flying around that restaurant what a treat of foods I would see. This time as I walked, plumply to the door, I heard only a little sloshing of the foodstuffs I had imbibed with the collanders of ice teas.

[Brian]

Eating more fast food myself the past months I have gained a huge amount of weight, feel sluggish, and make floor boards creak as I walk over them. So today after securing a mixed up combination of Quasanawiches with their tasty fillings, a little sac of oil boiled tater discs, a Whopper with cheese, also tasty, and a new steakarich with all the heapings, optimistic on this one, I had a days worth of food, plus coffe to jangle the nerves and orange juice for my fruit allotment I noticed all the chunky overwieght people walking around, waiting for the commuter train, some even eating various breakfast sandwhices and the like. Only the homeless men were thin frankly, with their long pointed beards, unshaven head hair, civil war coats, and what appeared to be wooden boots. They were the thin guys. The rest of us "workers" had grown plump and happy with tasty hot sandwiches all at our fingertips. Is that why they put all those extra loops in our belts so we can let our growing stomaches out hole by hole till even that new large belt no longer fits us? Have to buy even larger pants twice in the same year? How does one go from a comfortable size 32 to a tight 40? Its interesting watching oneself grow into a replica of the workforce and I guess as a kid I only had a fast food cheeseburgler once and for 10 cents. And no I didn't get any fries with it. I use to think it was all the extra heapings of food peole ate but since I limit myself to just one sandwich per meal anymore, it really doesn't take a lot. I use to get two sandwiches with super sized fries and just a diet soda but that was like eating a thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings and a second helping to boot. Yes, I know a guy did a movie on just eating at Mcdonalds to the horror of his thin vegan live-in girlfriend tiil he had to abort his mission as he ended up in some doctors office. But when you do it yourself it brings yet newer messages home. 1. Cooking is darn time consuming. 2. Shopping for food is time consuming too, though the modern store is prettier inside with lots of attractions these days and even full service salty deli's. 3. There just isn't much of what you would call fiber in fast food, period. 4. Therefore it has less nutrients, minerals, and vitamins as these are no yams laden with natures nutrition box. 5. Eating fast food on any kind of regular basis makes you gain weight, and that weight is darn sticky. 6. I don't know if this is also true if you work in a physically intensive speed up factory and jog, cycle, and lift weights on your weekends except I am sure you would need more balanced nutrients. 7. Fast food is pretty salty fair compared to at least my homestyle cooking where I never add salt, but use various chilli powders and other sorts of seasonings. 8. But for taste and convienence fast food is designed to be tasty and it surely is. Tasty enough for the desire of a secod quasanowhich with each and every breakfast, and that second packet of oil boiled taters, and heck another super sized coffee with two of those little creamer tadpole cups.

[Brian]

for lunch I ate a roasted angus steak hamburgler sandwich drapped with a sad piece of yellow orange cheesee and some tasty crispy thin sliced real bacon and a dollup of ketchup squeezed inside. It kind of just sat in my stomach. Dinner was a nice mayonaised cold whopper with cheese.(just love fast food gooey melty yellar cheese). Three mornings this week I had McDonalds bacon egg cheese bisquits and loved them, wanting seconds, but I held back and fortunately for me they came with the crinkled fried tater thing that I always like. Last night I had a cold whopper with cheese at midnight as I had a hankering and yesterday afternoon a strange strawburry shake which I have no idea of what its composed of but it tastes good sort of like strawburry icing flavoring. Tomorrow I probably should visit a grocery store and buy an already roasted salted chicken bird sitting in its own salty juices so I get some real nourishment in my constantly expanding gullet. The sides might be some form of buttered mashed taters and some bread. I usually spring open a can of cranburry jelly for my vegtables when it comes to chicken night. Or better yet some buttered hawaiin rolls. They now sell little packages of them. Two to a pack. yummy. I was thinking of hitting a breakfast brunch bar and getting half a liter of soft scrambled eggs and some real pieces of bacon and a burrito for the carbs, add some gacchymole, sourcream, and green tomatilla sauce and I would have a pretty good breakfast. And then bring it home and eat it lying on the couch as I watch C-spann before my morning nap. Yep, thats the ticket.

[Brian]

-many months ago I blogged that the subprime mortgage problem would morph into a full-on banking crises, the worst since the great depression and what that would mean for us. My predictions have proven spot-on and I am accepting thankyou's and proper acknowledgement for the heads up. I have outpredicted the very best on wallstreet and government and with remarkable consistency without the inhouse expertise available to any banking or investing mogul or government official. Its citizens like me who make this country work and not the "people" who brought this fraud into our living rooms. Its amazing the lack of public outrage and passivity of the people. They have been robbed twice.

[Holly Redmond]

I just sat here chuckling at this- I pretty well have to agree with Jennifer up there, though. It is an issue of "celebrity" and then you toss in that Christian persecution complex and awaaaay we go. Remember, guys, they did used to feed you to lions, little cheese on your plate's not going to hurt you.

Also, have to agree with LC2, really want to hear your points of view on all of that.

[Holly Redmond]

Brian, while I didn't get all the food stuff you wrote up there- but wordy, have to say, I'm right there with you on the fact that people need to be more outraged.
I cannot understand the complacency and apathy that is strangling the public. It's disgusting.

[lc2]

Barbara! Where have you been?! Say your Op/Ed in the NYT .... brilliant. Why not post it here too?

Sorry if my constant nitpicking in the comments forum made you want to give up the blogging bit.

[David]

By the way, the flight attendant lost the case. Maybe some of this article by Barbara should be reconsidered?

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2008-08-14-osteen_N.htm?csp=34

"Victoria Osteen, the co-pastor of Houston's popular Lakewood Church, testified no such incident took place, as did her husband and other first-class passengers. Victoria Osteen's lawyer dismissed Brown's lawsuit as a made-up story concocted to land a courtroom payday."

[Cinsel Sohbet]

thanks

[Cinsel Sohbet]

thanks

[resimler]

thanks

[muhabbet odaları]

thanks a lot

[Oyun]

Christianity fosters a distinctly un-Christian narcissism.

[Rev. Robert Kieffer Leaverton]

This article was a snapshot of how both parties fell short of the glory of God.

Well written and thoughtful.

[hosting]

Yes that's is a good idea. Thanks a lot. Good information.

[magzaci]

I'm familiar with Osteen Christians and I think a lot of churches (even if they formally denounce the "prosperity gospel") see him as benignly irrelevant.

Osteen speaks the familiar languages of self-help jargon and Evangelical jargon, so his character (which is clearly a performance) makes any pastor who denounces him look like a big, humorless weenie.

[winslowkno]

total findings risk non paper sulfate

[elaine]

"Celebrities are constantly misbehaving in public because they're rich, famous, feel entitled, and most of America coddles their sense of entitlement."
--Jennifer @ Aug. 13th, 2008

Trust me darlin'...it isn't just 'celebrities' who behave like this in public. A good many Americans share a similar sense of that 'entitlement', without being celebrities of any sort. Too many of the nation's privileged classes share in exactly this mindset, and the Osteens have just become wealthy and famous for preaching to the choir of selfish, narcissistic, 'me-first, I'm special' adult brats populating this country today.

[Phil the Pill]

Thanks to Barbara for voicing
an intelligent and balanced
view of reality. The inane
cult of optimism and happy
happy joy joy positive thinking is mindless cultic
psychobabble, nothing more.
You cannot "visualize" world peace because visualization is simply a delusional and subjective
mindtrick. Visualize death,
destruction and the end of
the world, if you like...
NOT WORRIED

[muzikdinle]

Thanks to Barbara for voicing
an intelligent and balanced
view of reality. The inane
cult of optimism and happy
happy joy joy positive thinking is mindless cultic
psychobabble, nothing more.
You cannot "visualize" world peace because visualization is simply a delusional and subjective
mindtrick. Visualize death,
destruction and the end of
the world, if you like...
NOT WORRIED