The War on Infrastructure

This morning, flanked by a dozen people who lost cars or family members in last week’s I-35W bridge collapse, President Bush declared a “War on Infrastructure.” Describing the July steam pipe explosion in Manhattan and the bridge collapse in Minneapolis as “cowardly attacks on our way of life,” he explained that until now, “the War on Infrastructure has been largely centered on Iraq, where it has been over 70 percent successful. Today, very few operating bridges, water mains or power grids remain for Iraqis to worry about.”

Anticipating the usual caviling, he added that the new war is in no way a distraction from the ongoing War on Terror. “The World Trade Center towers would not have fallen under the force of airplane collisions alone,” he said, “The role of faulty construction, which is code phrase for infrastructure, can no longer be denied.”

Ken Pollack, the Brooking Institute’s die-hard supporter of the war in Iraq, warned that the War on Infrastructure could be as difficult to win as the War on Terror. “We’d gotten used to fighting human enemies,” he said, “and now we’re up against abstract nouns.”

“We expected that there would be a dastardly attack on the homeland sometime this summer,” added Donald Rumsfeld, who will end his brief retirement to take charge of the War on Infrastructure. He attributed the nation’s lack of preparation to the Clinton administration, with its “hear-no-evil, see-no-evil policy toward highway overpasses.”

Congressional Democrats rushed to display their support for the president in his new initiative. Hillary Clinton promised to vote for the bombing of infrastructure on condition that the president checks in with Congress first, assuming he can find them and that the phone and DSL lines are working.

Echoing her sentiments on Pakistan, she said she does not rule out the use of nuclear warheads on particularly entrenched elements of infrastructure, even if civilians are using them at the time. “Anyone who wants to be president has to be prepared to kill people,” she added – “with her bare hands if necessary.”

Perhaps the strongest anti-infrastructure rumblings have come from Dick Cheney, who sent a message from his undisclosed location shortly after the Minneapolis bridge collapse, stating that: “We will prevail even if it means water-boarding every last one of America’s remaining bridges.”

A spokeswoman from the Transportation Safety Administration announced that people seeking to cross bridges will be required to remove their shoes, jackets and all metal items. The effect of this measure on infrastructure is not known, but, she said, “It will definitely facilitate swimming.”

Comments

[jay]

Mmmm... that's good snark.

[Dr. Steph]

Don't forget the potholes--those filthy, freedom hating chasms!

[buena]

What color ribbons should we wear to support this war? Are the bumper stickers on sale yet?

[Curly Earl]

Everywhere you look, things are breaking down, deteriorating to point that total reconstruction will prove more beneficial than bandaid solutions.

I think President Bush should declare a War on Obesity along with this infastructure war you mention.

With so many of our young one's running around outta breath, anxiously awaiting Mom or Dad to get em to drive thru, I think this will lead to young adults driving themselves to the drive thru and pretty soon, 50 % of the US population will be medically considered obese. hmmmm

[buena]

And a war on stupidity, too. That way we won't have to go through the bother of impeaching anyone.

I've read that the people in New Orleans had a somewhat jaded reaction to seeing Bush on the bridge, promising quick action. Two years after Katrina, they're still in FEMA trailers, if they even got one. What a crock. The money we've wasted in Iraq could've rebuilt New Orleans and all our country's bridges.

[Terry]

Yes! War on fat! War on Medical System! War on big oil! Right.

Good point. Bush thinks.....um.......OK he doesn't. He just has no philosophical or introspective bone in his body....

[buena]

Why is this twit still in office?

[Brian Stewart]

I read your article as if this is what they were actually saying. Its really gotten that bad! Today realizing Hillary would probably be our next president cementing 24-28 years of these Bush-Clinton people made me just want to pack up get really far away from these obsessive narcissists. What has happened to our American Experiment to go so wrong?

[Monica]

How convenient! Some time later, American companies will have lots of business opportunities in Iraq.

Aside from any actual killing, this "war on infrastructure" is a crime against humanity, as things like basic sanitation and the availability of food and other necessities depend on them. This is also an expression of American arrogance.

According to this school of thought, Americans deserve a reliable infrastructure, and they should not even realize how fragile it is and what would happen if it broke down. On the other hand (it's not me who says that, it's just part of that way of thinking), Iraq used to have a primitive infrastructure in the first place, but who cares about those savages? Let's just destroy theirs, but God forbid something happens to ours, which is part of our way of life! Their way of life is kind of primitive and backwards anyway, and who cares about theirs?

I know that this is not likely to happen, but I wish someone built a really great, brand new infrastructure in Iraq, one that would actually be better in some respects than what is available in the States. Some Americans, especially the Moron in Chief, are just too arrogant, and it would serve them right!

[TahoeTim]

There won't be many who argue that the war in Iraq is a huge waste of lives and money to no worthwhile purpose, however it ends. Vietnam was just as inane. Building a bridge without planning for maintenance and replacement is just as stupid. Defining borders and passing laws without enforcement is the same game. Republican or Democrat just more of the same corrupt machine, driving this country into the same hole. Hey, thanks for the forum, I feel lots better now.

[Maya's Granny]

I think that the War on Infrastructure has been going on since Reagan was elected and we started going for ever lower taxes.

[Andrea]

You know what we need a war on? The Garden State Parkway around exit 145. Someone has to declare war on that. It's terrible.

[Hedley Lamarr]

You people are missing the point here.

Crumbling infrastructure is exciting. Well-maintained infrastructure is, well, boring.

It's probably no accident that the War on Taxes--which IMO really began in '78 with Prop 13--began just as those post-apocalyptic Urban Hell movies became popular (think John Carpenter, Ridley Scott, Mad Max, etc.).
Personally, I think rusting reinforcing rods sticking out of jagged bits of concrete are kewl.

[Curly Earl]

Buena, You asked: Why is this twit still in office?

Well, you elected him twice.

Just goes to show you what a multi million $ campaign blitz will do to elect a Doofus.

Any plans on re-electing any more doofus presidents/vice
presidents ?
Might be a good idea to administer an IQ test for any new candidate running for prez.

[Stargeezer]

Hey Curly,
We're Amurrcans. We have only Doofi to vote for. Stupidity RULES!!

[Justin K.]

I think Bush declared war on porn at one point. This man would declared war on taco's if he could. Could you imagine if we declared war on every little thing we don't like. If we could then I declare war on habanero peppers, cheap razors, number two pencils, Microsoft (and all other none Mac computers) and Grey's anatomy with "Dr. Mcdreamy" The only thing we should declare war on is the patriot act. Bush is a joke.

[buena]

I DID NOT ELECT HIM!

[Mel]

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[chris]

"The War on Infrastructure"

Ooohh. A joke commentary that fell flat.

However, based on the nature of this commentary, it's clear Barbara thinks the federal government is responsible for mechanical failures in the US. By extension, it's clear she thinks the federal government is responsible for EVERYTHING.

Barbara wants Federal Government Medicine, Federal Government Schools, and now, Federal Government oversight for Bridge Builders.

It's unfortunate that anyone would believe we have a poor safety record in the US.

If you want poor safety records, check the islamic countries. Iran, for one. An earthquake registering 6.7 on the Richter Scale hit Qum, Iran at the end of 2003.

The death toll was well over 30,000. Meanwhile, the population of the town before the earthquake was about 75,000.

Iran is a country with a leadership that is contemptuous of its citizens. No building codes exist to protect people from these disasters.

On almost the same date an earthquake also struck California. It was the same magnitude. I believe about two people were killed. When the earthquakes struck northern CA in 1989 and southern CA in 1994, only a handful of people were killed.

Maintenance and repair work on many bridges, tunnels and roadways may be overdue, but the responsibility for scheduling this important work does not lie with the federal government.

[Mark Marquez]

We have seen the social infrastructure collapsing all around us, with little effort to rebuild cities, parks and public services. Nobody wants to raise taxes except on items the poor man has to live on or enjoys. Suspicion is everywhere and it does not seem to stop. The only solution to this mess is to continue to learn from mistakes of the past and hope for the future.

[Lulu Maude]

Ick. Chris is at it again. It fell flat for you, Chris, because you should be off reading a Republican humorist rather than trying to correct a progressive on what is and is not funny.

Go read Christopher Buckley and P.J. O'Rourke and leave us all alone.

BTW, the bridge is part of an interstate, and as such is the responsibility of the federales.

Now get lost.

[Larry In Lethbridge]

I think I know what makes Chris tick (or malfunction).

Chris gets his jollies by posting here, trying to convince the forum of his supposed superior intellect.

Neglected as a young child, young adult, and now as a grown adult, the lack of attention and nurturing has made him into a Class A Buffoon.
People like Chris make for good case study in post secondary psychology courses. His personality type is used as a classic example of one being "antisocial" and at times can be referred to as a social misfit.

Much can be learned from such assbackwards behaviour.

One last thing.Barbara has every right to be satirical in any of her postings. It's her blog right ? You don't like it, bugger off, dickhead.

[paperpusher666]

Chris said: "Maintenance and repair work on many bridges, tunnels and roadways may be overdue, but the responsibility for scheduling this important work does not lie with the federal government."

The federal government doesn't PAY for the repairs in a lot of cases, either. State and local roads are paid for by the states and localities, usually from income or property taxes. The feds would be responsible for coordinating with state officials for repairs on the interstates. In the case of the interstates, they do pay most of the cost of repairs and maintenance. Unless I read the sign wrong, a repair project on I-95 was paid over 90% by the feds ($7 million from feds, $150K from PA)

New Jersey is pondering a huge bond issue to fix a lot of the substandard bridges and roads. They are also considering leasing the right to operate the NJ Turnpike for a period of years.

[buena]

You're right, Larry. Except that Chris gets his jollies every time somebody responds to him. If he were completely ignored, he'd go away.

[paperpusher666]

Chris said: "Maintenance and repair work on many bridges, tunnels and roadways may be overdue, but the responsibility for scheduling this important work does not lie with the federal government."

The federal government doesn't PAY for the repairs in a lot of cases, either. State and local roads are paid for by the states and localities, usually from income or property taxes. The feds would be responsible for coordinating with state officials for repairs on the interstates. In the case of the interstates, they do pay most of the cost of repairs and maintenance. Unless I read the sign wrong, a repair project on I-95 was paid over 90% by the feds ($7 million from feds, $150K from PA)

New Jersey is pondering a huge bond issue to fix a lot of the substandard bridges and roads. They are also considering leasing the right to operate the NJ Turnpike for a period of years.