The Downward Spiral

by Eric Campbell

I read Bait & Switch when it was first published. I am an IT professional (or at least I used to be), and many of Barbara's experiences in Bait & Switch sounded familiar. I've been there.

The job fairs, where smiling college interns collected my resume while being unable to answer the simplest of questions about the company or the jobs they allegedly needed to fill.

The so-called "recruiters" and "headhunters" who have no real placement or HR experience. They seem delighted just to meet with me, to put me into the all-important DATABASE.

The networking groups, which remind me of the I Love Lucy episode featuring the Friends of the Friendless. People bring cookies and other sweets, perhaps to mitigate the overall bitterness they feel.

I have been told to find spiritual guidance, because HE will help me make my car payments, if I accept HIM into my heart. OK, I exaggerate a little here.

Endless hours spent trolling the online job boards. Monster has 2,347,891 jobs today!

Thousands (yes, thousands!) of resumes and cover letters. I've licked enough stamps to cover the Eiffel Tower. I've created enough digital refuse to fill Madison Square Garden. Still no job.

In the past 5 1/2 years, I have been stuck in a downward spiral. I quit looking exclusively for a computer job long ago. I have applied for jobs that pay less than a livable wage, only to be turned away as "over-qualified".

I have had potential employers not hire me because they were worried about the number of jobs I have had over the past few years. The fact that I have been repeatedly laid-off, my jobs out-sourced, matters little to them. They sympathize, but I still appear to be damaged goods to them.

I have failed to get interviews for jobs that I am qualified to perform. The reasons for this are many: been out of IT for too long; too many employers in too short a period of time; and the very vague yet commonly used explanation of how I am "just not the perfect fit".

I have worked off the books as a painter and landscaper. I have gone broke twice, and I'm on my way there for a third time. I have lost my apartment, been  forced to move in with my elderly parents. I'm 39; they're in their 60's. They (and I) live in a retirement community. Oh, joy!

I have worked for temp-agencies and I took a so-called "survival job", which featured a profane, 73-year-old boss, and a vastly misrepresented job. I lasted a whole year there.

Health insurance is a distant memory. So are most of the dreams I had for myself. Some of my best years have been wasted. I'll never get them back.

I have fundamentally changed as a person. I no longer laugh or make jokes as much. When I do joke around, I notice my humor is tinged with bitterness. I miss the person I used to be.

My personal life is of course intertwined with the professional side. How can I initiate and nurture a relationship when I can't even support myself? At a time when my contemporaries are married, having kids, and moving up in their careers, I just sit on the sidelines and watch. Forever the fan, I long to be on the field.

The goal-oriented man I used to be has been replaced by a depressed soul whose greatest accomplishment today may be fighting off the urge to take a midday nap.

I have learned some things about myself that I can use as positives. I realize I'm a bit stronger than I gave myself credit for, more resilient.

I seemed to have recaptured a compassionate streak I had in my youth. By that, I mean that I have empathy for people who are suffering. Do I volunteer? No, but neither do I simply dismiss the downtrodden as those who simply "don't try hard enough".

I've searched for enjoyment not through the accumulation of "stuff" but through the accumulation of experience. To that end, I have taken up hiking, and I reconnected with my passion for reading.

I have also written several short stories, and I am working on my third novel. All of my work remains unpublished at this time, but I don't sweat it. I have bigger problems. Job-hunting in this day and age requires a thick skin, so when my queries to literary agents and various publications are returned with a "no thanks", I don't let it get to me. I write for myself.

Comments

[gaby]

Hello, I watched 60 minutes the other night and they had a story on computer geeks who are high in demand. Reason being is that us mere mortals don't know what to do when our computer, or anything electronic, pukes. Maybe the repair business would be a step in using your IT expertise.

Other than that all I can do is sympathise. Having had my own bout with under- and unemployment that left me deep in debt, I don't think I will ever be able to shake the anxiety and fear associated with trying to earn a living.

[JP Merzetti]

Chilling and heartbreaking at the same time.
No over-emoting here - I'm a librarian, know good writinf when I see it, and you write well.
Another perfect example of intelligence and ability going to waste in a society that just doesn't know how to value these things anymore.
"Statistics" are all real people living real lives -and you give voice to that fact.
When I was about your age, I decided that following any "straight and narrow" offered no guarantee of success anyway, so why not do the thing I loved the most?
The only connection between that and what I do for a living is the fact that I passionately adore books - but my one true love is performing arts, and I still wang away at that. Easy to do when at least gainfully employed.
And there's the rub.
But I'd keep writing, anyhow. In spite of the rejections - you're good at it - and what do you have to lose? Certainly not a good job....
As Dylan (Bob) said - "When you got nothin', you got nothin' to lose..."

Good luck to you.

jp

[barbsright]

Eric, you have a lot to offer, but you need someone to tell you what to do. Our generation (I am in my early 40s) was raised at the end of 'American Socialism', so we were not prepared, or given guidence, to live in this Capitalistic society. You do write well. I would tell you to start a computer service business, and publish a newsletter, but your problems are not employment related. They are personality ones. I knew a guy who wrote well, he is now a union electrician. Loves his job, as well as the people he works with. You need counseling (I sound like the late Ann Landers). I have a friend who may get a job at Walmart soon. His history is not unlike yours. I told him to get help, but he has not listened to me. Hopefully you will. I am single, as are many of my friends. This society has no place for 'nerver marrieds'. To HR people, 'never married' is a badge of being an abnormal person.

[JP Merzetti]

Well I have to comment on the last post - just can't help it.
I'd say shrinks shall be doing good business in the coming years - truly a growth industry (though who will be able to afford them?)
Babs herself waxed rather eloquent, I thought - about the proliferation of charlatans out there posing as "career counsellors."
Perhaps - we were never given guidance or preparation for this new improved "capitalist" society - because we would prefer something a little better?
Since when is a Walmart sentence or any other McFranchised Starbuckeroosy the just dues of a life spent intelligently questioning our "betters?"
Let me change that - to "Bettors." More to the point.
A few smart people out there refer to our economy as a casino economy.
I happen to think they're right - a few win while many lose.
A rather sad and sick society, what - that a gent like Eric here, has "personality" problems?
We should all of us be so lucky.
And to all the nevermarried's smart enough to not bother without reasonable financial resources - should not the mere fact that this places them in some kind of sub-human category with the corpo-beasties - tell you something rather important about the evil slime that percolates within their sad little brains?
I think America was always greedy. It used to be a rather charmingly compassionate sort of greed, really.
Unfortunately - I think the greed has just taken over top spot. Check out the numbers of businessmen busy learning Mandarin. And don't tell me this is because they've got the hots for the culture!
(read: a new language for business.)
I'd imagine good old Ms Landers would spin in her grave.

[barbsright]

JP Merzetti, I fully agree with you. 'casino economy', I am going to use that from now on.

[The Eternal Squire]

Eric,

Unlike the other people who may offer you advice about your faults or shortcomings, I am one to say that you are in exactly the right place.

There are worse things to be than never-married, and there are worse things to be than childless. The thing that would be worse would be to have a wife and/or children who are thoroughly hypnostised by our consumerist system who keep demanding you provide them the standard of living they think they deserve.

There is a Russian mathematician who won the Nobel Prize for mathematics recently... but all this time he was an unemployed man living with his parents for decades.

Then there was an unemployed British housewife, divorced, with 2 children, who happened to write a series of fantasy adventure novels so popular with children and adults that now her net worth is greater than the Queen's.

You have a resource many would envy... the freedom to be creative on a schedule of your choosing. Your should exploit the assets that you have rather than wishing for someone else's.

By all means, 'write for yourself'... its the only way to write with any passion.

A life lived with truth and dignity outranks any life with in a prosperity born of inauthentic living.

If you are really desperate, enlist in the Army... they are taking men up to 42 now without waivers. The experience will give you plenty of material for writing.... and a lot of writers choose the military route to get thier 'seasoning'. And who knows... you may even find love in a foreign land where you least expect to.

Remember: The foolishness of God is greater than any wisdom of Man.

Good luck,

The Eternal Squire

[barbsright]

Eternal Squire, you have a valid point. A friend of my mothers' has a son who is now divorced, rarely sees his kids who live in the Midwest, is unemployed, and now lives at home with his mother. I have none of those 'experiences' except I also live at home with my mother, and am between jobs. I do not know which is worse: having everything and losing it, or never having it?

[Gaby]

Eternalsquire, I agree to a point with what you are saying. However, when you are under - or unemployed and are not able to run home to Mommy, life without a decent job can be quite tough. In addition to rent and utilities most people rely on a car and need to make those payments and insurance. Add food to the mix and perhaps student loans etc....My point being, yes creativity and a different way of life are not bad, perhaps even desirable, but even an alternative lifestyle costs money. And the British divorced housewife had the kind of safety net Americans can only dream about.

[The Eternal Squire]

Barbsright,

It is said somewhere that 'it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.'

But the poet who wrote that was a European from the Romantic period.

In an age where there is only room for CEO's, a few farmers, no manufacturers, a lot of service jobs, and an overwhelming amount of jobless aka 'surplus population' in some eyes, it would be no wonder if a great many people chose never to love.

The Eternal Squire

[barbsright]

Eternal Squire, I agree.

[The Eternal Squire]

Barbsright,

I remember seeing a recent web article regarding how the presense of single-mother families was at an all time high. I really think it could be for two reasons:
1) These mothers have decided there are no males wealthy enough to keep, and so have decided to raise children themselves.
2) These families were once intact, but now with very high male unemployment the males have become drifters or homeless.
3) The cost of marriage is simply too high. Most states still have a marriage penalty even if the feds have eliminated it.

The Eternal Squire

[fedup]

Good Luck!

Once again, I'm YOUR boat.

Parents - forget it! They helped me out once as an adult. They won't do it again.

Take care.

[Mr. FormallyEmployed Man]

Ever since I started reading your books my life went down the tubes. Before, I was a happy schlub, working for the Big Boss Man. I was happier than a pig in shit. But then I read your book and I started talking back to Boss Man. He said, "Get back to work. And shut-up." I said, "No. No. No." I was warned. Then I started a reading group to discuss some of your books. I got blackballed. I've never worked a day since. I lost my wife. My house. My car. Now all I do is sit in my underwear and stare at a poster of Che (you know the one of him in the beret) and wonder where it all went wrong. What do I do? All I have left is my unitedprofessionals.org membership card. Help me Rhonda. Help, Help me Rhonda.

[Suzanne Nott]

My background - IT Professional who came up in the ranks as a mainframe technician, branched into Technical and also project management, expanded into other fields such as data and computer security, new technologies, etc., Consultant (never without work) for 15 years, "older worker). I was laid off after completing my last big task, Project Manager on building a remote Disaster Recovery Site for an Insurance Company's (and its financial subsidiaries) Client Server/Network environments. I've now been unemployed for a year and a half, vigorously seeking employment.

While I keep seeing statisics about the need for high tech people, I say "Balderdash!" Those positions, from the entry level tech to supervisory, to lower and major Technical Project management are being filled by foreign workers, either here as - essentially - identured workers, or abroad (have you tried to call any company for technical support lately. Try it and you'll see what I mean.) I have watched company after company lay off people as they stocked up on people whom they didn't have to pay benefits to or that they could let go with no consequence.

I'm 58 now and wondering if I'll ever find work in my field again. Sigh.

Am I angry? Darn right! Seems, though, there's hardly anything I can do. I'm sure part of this is discrimination (what about all that "crap" about experience being so valuable?), but a larger part is about being able to buy labor cheaper. I would never advise a youngster today to go into IT unless it's at some high tech, US design and manufacturing company (even those are selling out.) What is to be done?

[Jyl]

I'll tell you what. Look up North Platte Community College. Teachers are badly needed in Nebraska. And the cost of living is faily low. We have a 2,000 square foot home for $624 per month. Just take a look.

[m.b.]

i understand and i sympathize. you work hard. you give up the best years of your life, and one day it all ends. and you ask yourself 'what did i do wrong?' you didn't. the global economy did this to you. ceos did this to you. corporate greed did this to you. contemporary american economics and republicrat politics did this to you. of course, being white, male and over 40 doesn't help either. sorry if that offends someone, but it's true, and truth can offend. i know about the depression, the need for naps, the inability to make friends or influence people or fall in love. i don't know what to say except keep fighting and pounding until either you triumph or you ultimately fail and die. realistically, we don't have any choice. good luck, friend!

[ari]

I am in the same boat after being outsourced in IT- I have 10 years of management experience and it is transferable but on one sees it that way. I too had to move in with my folks and I am 33. I have been looking for months, and I hate the fact that I even started in IT. The Tech industry is something you should stay far, far away from you will never make a living, and if you do save and save for the day you are let go. Becuase it will take years to find your way into something half decent. I am contimplating getting a truck drivers license so I can drive a garbage truck, the future looks so bright.

[jen]

I really can relate to much of what is posted here. Getting a good job today has as much to do with luck as anything else. My husband lost his job in May and I happened to be working at the same company. I left in Sept. without another job lined up (risky perhaps but there were extenuating circumstances, when my husband fell from grace, so did I). I knew I would get *something*. It took about 6 weeks to get something else (it didn't take too long to find another job). I am starting a new job on Monday, that's actually a big step up for me. I was just lucky. Don't give up. Keep looking.